


What the Morans Like

by Salamandriod



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, 5+1, Also I still haven't solidified my Moran family headcanons sorry, I'm not really sure how this happened sorry, Multi, No actual sex but lots implied, Sebastian is horrified by his siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 01:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1922058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salamandriod/pseuds/Salamandriod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times Sebastian learned a bit too much about his siblings and the one time he didn't mind so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What the Morans Like

1\. Rawdon

Sebastian expected Jim to keep tabs on his siblings since the man liked to know everything that could possibly pull his sniper away from him. It didn't matter how many times he told his boss that they wouldn't disturb him from his work, he always kept track of them anyway.

He also expected the Holmes brothers to keep track on his siblings in case they could use them against him and in turn get to Jim. If his siblings had ever been approached, though, he was confident that they’d laughed off whatever they’d been offered. The Morans may not have been the closest family that there ever was, but they’d never betray one another. They’d happily betray anyone outside their family, a knack for chaos in their blood.

The last person he expected to tell him anything at all about his siblings’ lives was one Irene Adler, who flitted over to the Consulting Criminal whenever she needed some advice or had some juicy information. Sebastian never much cared for the business she brought in, though he always refused to state why. Jim knew that his sniper was just a little jealous of how easily she could get his attention when he had to wait.

Of course, just because Sebastian didn't enjoy her presence around Jim didn't mean that he always hated her. Though once he and Jim starting fucking regularly in what most would call a twisted “relationship,” he found that he hardly ever looked at the photos on her site anymore. The thought of hiring her had certainly gone out of his mind altogether.

Sebastian had no plans to interact with Irene when she arrived at the office to discuss a few things with the criminal, but she clearly had other plans. She always arrived a few minutes early whenever she stopped by, but never long enough to hold even the shortest conversation with him. That was the first sign that he picked up that something wasn't quite right.

“Sebastian, dear, how are you?” she asked, and Sebastian couldn't help the raised eyebrow. Irene had no business talking with him, none of Jim’s clients did. He was the muscle that made sure Jim’s threats carried weight.

“What do you want, Adler?” he snapped, not in the mood to deal with whatever plans she had up her sleeve. Or whatever plans were stuffed in her bra, given the sleeveless dress she was currently wearing.

Irene rolled her eyes and sighed softly, then shifted to casually lean against the wall. Both of them knew quite well that she could simply knock on the door and be let in to see Jim. Both of them also knew that she just wanted to torment the sniper for a few minutes. “No need to be so aggressive, Sebastian. You know your tough exterior doesn't work on me,” she said, glancing away from the man as though he were being boring, not unlike something Jim would have done.

While a moment of silence stretched between them the scowl on Sebastian’s face didn't even fade the smallest bit. “Really, you can stop glaring, I’m not going to waltz in and steal your lover away-“

“He’s not my lover,” Sebastian interrupted flatly. If anything, his scowl deepened. They had done their best thus far to ensure that any rumors of their relationship were just that, rumors. Irene had a treasure trove of information available to her, but anything about the relationship between the criminal and his chief of staff shouldn't have been in it.

“That’s what I thought, but your brother was adamant that the two of you were exclusive when we last met,” Irene said as she turned he gaze back to Sebastian.

“You? And Rawdon? I don’t want to hear anymore,” he muttered to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. Somehow he wasn't entirely surprised, especially coming from Rawdon.

“He did say that he hadn't seen you in a while, so perhaps my information is outdated,” she continued, completely ignoring the sniper’s mutterings. “From what I understand, you Morans all seem to have similar tastes. And certainly if you've something between James, then I can’t be that far off.”

Sebastian was too horrified to formulate a response, but fortunately for him Jim was a master of timing. The door to Jim’s office opened and the man himself peeked out, gaze fixing on the two of them. “Irene, I believe we have an appointment. You know I don’t enjoy waiting,” he stated before disappearing back inside, leaving the door open. A small smirk twitched at the corners of Irene’s lips as she took a few steps towards the open door before she stopped and glanced back at Sebastian.

“Perhaps I can help if you want to organize a reunion of sorts with your siblings. Rawdon didn't seem against the idea, but he was a little tied up at the time,” she offered. She didn't wait for a reply, instead disappearing into Jim’s office and letting the click of the door be the end to their conversation.

The next few moments passed by Sebastian as he was trapped in a disgusted horror at the thought of Irene being the one to bring his family together again. He cursed Jim mentally for rarely allowing him to drink since he didn't want to wait until midnight to get smashed. He just wanted to forget that Irene had said anything to him.

 

 

2\. Augusta

Sebastian wasn’t the only Moran to hang around in London, though he was the only one to live there. Augusta frequently visited the city, though Sebastian never bothered to ask just why she did when they had the time to meet up. Given his work schedule and her secrecy, brother-sister lunches didn't happen very often.

Somehow they’d both found a break in their schedules that lined up on that Tuesday afternoon and they made it a point to get something to eat, if only so they could berate their other siblings for not talking to each other as much. They didn't really care how much everyone met up with each other, they both just liked to gloat at being the better than the others.

They sat just out front of a café with their food and coffee, casually chatting about the things that had been going on since they last saw each other. Or at least the things they could talk about. Then, of course, Augusta had to bring up the last thing that he could ever want to hear about.

“I heard that you and Jim broke up, what’s with that? I thought you were completely infatuated with him?” she asked, her head cocking to the side as she waited for Sebastian’s response.

His immediate reaction was to spit out the sip of his coffee that he’d just taken, either horrified that his sister had heard a rumor about him and his boss or that she’d insinuated that he was in love. He quickly regained himself and paused from eating so that he could fix her with a curious gaze. “I’m not infatuated, and we’re still together. I’m pretty sure if something happened between us none of you would know where my body was buried. If there was a body, even. Where did you hear that?”

“Well, I was with Irene when I was in the area two weeks ago-“

“Irene, as in Adler?”

“The very one, I didn't know the two of you worked together.”

“We don’t, she comes in to annoy me and Jim allows it. I don’t want you to meet with her again.”

At that, Augusta simply laughed. “You forget who’s older around here, baby brother. You can’t order me around like you do with Christabell and Jasper,” she teased, pausing to take a sip of her coffee and enjoy the frustration on Sebastian’s face.

“I rather like her, actually. You wouldn't happen to know if she sees anyone outside of work?” she asked, her amused grin falling just slightly as she waited for an answer. Sebastian, however, had no idea what to even think. The shock on his face must have shown, since Augusta’s smile fell even further. “Something the matter?”

“No, no. I just- Irene’s- She’s suggested- Oh, never mind,” he sighed, dropping his face into his hands. Coffee wouldn't be enough to get him through the day at this rate. He took a moment to himself, then sat back up, trying to be supportive of his sister, despite who she fell head over heels for. “I honestly don’t know anything about her personal life, you’ll have to meet up with her again and ask for yourself.”

 

 

3\. Severin

To be fair, Sebastian should have expected Severin to be the one to hire someone like Irene, but it still managed to surprise him.

It had been a good day for Sebastian; he’d finished his hit early, had some time to rest, and cooked a decent meal for the two of them once Jim returned from his meeting. He hoped that he could intercept the criminal before he entered his study so he would eat. Then maybe coax him into bed with as few wounds as possible to really make the day fantastic. Unfortunately for him, things hardly every went so smoothly.

He’d just pulled out a couple of plates to set everything out for them when his phone started ringing, almost vibrating off the counter. He picked it up before it fell, though, bringing it to his ear without even glancing at who was calling. There weren't too many people who knew his number, it was mostly so Jim could contact him when needed.

“Hello?” he said, moving back to try to plate their dinner one handed. Once he recognized the voice he stopped, not wanting to let his twin distract him and accidentally break something. That would surely end in a handful of new wounds if he didn't clean it before Jim returned.

“Seb! How are you?” Severin's voice was unmistakable, even though the distortion that their phones created.

“I’m fine, wondering why the hell you’re calling me at,” he glanced at the clock, trying to figure out how much time he could talk before Jim would be back, “7:03 on a Friday evening.”

“Oh, no reason. I just wanted to talk with my less attractive self for a bit.”

“You’re not even trying to lie, Sev. And remember that I’m the one that actually has a relationship at the moment. So if you want to get to the point, I’m trying to be a nice boyfriend, for once.”

That earned a sharp bark of laughter from the other end of the phone, and Sebastian scowled, not at all caring if Severin couldn't see it. “I've seen you date, you’re never a ‘nice boyfriend,’” he teased. “But that’s sort of what I called about.”

“You don’t want relationship advice from me, you know how-“

“I know that much! I don’t want a relationship, I need a good fuck. You mentioned a bit back that there was a woman who needed your boyfriend’s services every so often?”

Sebastian groaned and Severin could hear the small thud of his brother’s head against a cabinet. “Come on, Seb, you were going on and on about her before you and Jim got together.”

It was like his siblings were trying to give him a heart attack by all sleeping with Adler. He didn't want to know about their sex lives, but he was getting far too much information from just one woman.

“Can’t you go out and hook up with someone on your own, or did you finally get banned from every pub in the city?”

This time Severin groaned, and Sebastian would never say anything about the smirk of victory on his face. “No, there’s still some that I can go to. But I said I wanted a good fuck, not some mediocre lay. You said she was the best.”

“I thought she was the best, then I got in bed with Jim. Trust me, though, you don’t want to hire her,” Sebastian replied, finally tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder so he could attend to dinner once more.

There was silence from the other end of the phone, but Sebastian could practically feel his brother’s pout. “Irene Adler. Whatever you do, just don’t fucking say anything about me or the rest of our family,” he grumbled.

“I owe you one. See you around,” Severin replied, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. Sebastian muttered some curse under his breath and a goodbye of his own into the silence of the hung up call.

All that he could hope for now was that Jim would be in a good mood when he arrived so that he could block out the image of his twin tied up by Adler with an orgasm of his own. Preferably one that came with a few new wounds, too.

 

 

4\. Christabell

It was just after three in the morning when Sebastian’s phone went off. Just after he’d managed to lure Jim into bed for some much needed sleep they were disturbed, and already Jim was trying to use the phone as an excuse for him to get up and do some more work.

“I swear, Jim, if you've moved even an inch when I get back, I will drag you back here and fall asleep on top of you. Get some rest,” he growled as he slid out of bed himself to grab his phone. Fortunately it was just a few texts, so he didn't need to leave the room to answer, not that Jim would have cared, especially when he was as sleep deprived as he was.

_You've a spare bedroom in your flat, right? AM_

Christi was staying with me for the night, but an emergency came up and I need to be out early. You wouldn't turn down your beloved sisters, would you? AM

Sebastian cursed to himself at his luck, but Augusta was right, he couldn't turn down his sisters. It helped that a few of his siblings stayed the night occasionally, making Jim more comfortable with their presence. Still, he had wanted a nice, calm night to get Jim enough sleep.

_Thanks, I’ll drop her off at yours. AM_

Ten minutes later, Sebastian was fully awake and waiting by the door for his younger sister, still hating his luck. Fortunately he didn't have to wait terribly much longer as a quiet knock on the door brought his attention to his waiting sister.

“Hey,” he greeted softly when he opened the door. Christabell smiled up at her brother but didn't reply, visibly exhausted. Sebastian didn't blame her; if she was hanging around Augusta for a while then she was bound to be tired.

He moved out of the way to let her in, taking a quick glance out the door to make sure that no one unsavory was following her before locking the door tight. Together they moved in silence to the guest bedroom which still had a few of Sebastian’s things in it, from before he started sharing a bed with his boss. He helped her clean up a few things just to make some room for her and finally breaking the silence.

“Any idea what Augusta was pulled into?” he asked softly, still conscious of Jim in the other room.

Christabell shook her head with a little sigh as she dropped her bag down and dug out her toothbrush. “No idea. We were just at her friend’s house, and she got a call from work. Brought the whole night to an end right there,” she mumbled.

“And you couldn't have stayed with her friend? I didn't even know she had friends to begin with,” he teased lightly.

“Her friend also had business to attend to in the morning, business that I definitely wouldn't want to be around to even listen to,” she retorted flatly. “And maybe not so much a friend, but I don’t know what else to call her. Her crush, maybe.”

Even through Christabell's exhaustion, she could see Sebastian’s almost horrified expression. Before she could ask what was wrong, he was already heading out the door with a wave of his hand and a quiet “Good night.”

He collapsed back down into bed again, immediately curling around Jim as though the man could make him forget. Jim cursed at him softly for a moment, and then wriggled around so that he was facing his sniper. “Adler get to another of your siblings?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper. Sebastian simply grumbled low in his throat in response, not wanting to say anything when he could be falling asleep instead. “Just go to sleep, tiger.”

And at his boss’ orders, that was exactly what Sebastian did.

 

 

5\. Jasper

If Sebastian had thought that Irene’s constant flings with his siblings had ended with the threesome with her and his sisters, he really should have known better.

Surprisingly, this time he wasn't the first to hear about how Irene and Jasper ended up in the same room, given that he was supposed to be at university, studying for exams. In a stroke of bad luck for the youngest Moran, Rawdon had called him to check up on him and remind him to get some sleep when he heard Irene calling for Kate in the background. Jasper got chewed out well enough on the phone right then and there, only staying quiet because he was laughing too hard.

After that, word spread through the rest of the family quickly. Christabell was sent to pick him up and bring him back to his school, and while she didn't give him an earful herself, he did get bombarded with a slew of angry texts from Augusta, berating him for not taking his education seriously.

Severin, of course, simply sent him a text that only contained a winky face. He had of course been the one to suggest the idea to him in the first place.

Sebastian hadn't heard anything until later in the day, since he had been on a roof since four thirty in the morning to make a shot. He was greeted as he blended into the crowds after the shot by a handful of missed calls and several very long texts explaining the whole situation, all from Rawdon. He groaned as he read it all, but he figured that Jasper had already had his ears talked off.

Only after he had arrived back home, taken a shower, and gotten some food in him did Sebastian decide to do anything about this whole thing. He despised himself for still knowing Irene’s number by heart after all those years, but he tried to rationalize it by reminding himself that she was also a rather important client for them, so of course he would know her number.

“What the fuck, Irene?” he grunted once she picked up.

“Hello, Sebastian. Finally decide to see what your siblings have been telling you about?” she asked, and Sebastian could practically see the smirk on her lips.

“I didn't think you’d let a kid hire you.”

“Who, Jasper?” she asked innocently. “He’s hardly a child anymore, Sebastian. He’s only two years younger than Christabell, and you didn't seem to have much problem with her coming around.”

“He’s still a kid to us, alright? Just keep your hands off of him until he’s out of Uni,” he growled, trying to put his usual threat in his voice only to receive a quiet laugh from the other end.

“You’re adorable when you’re trying to be threatening, Sebastian. But I’ll stay away from him unless he has your approval. I’ll see you around,” she replied, leaving Sebastian with just a dial tone.

He grumbled to himself as he hung up and busied himself with other things, hoping in the back of his mind that her last words weren't a prediction.

 

 

+1. Sebastian

Jim had a surprise in plan for his tiger, and that usually didn't mean anything good. Either it was a pile of dead bodies or rigging a building with semtex to blow. This time, however, he would probably say was enjoyable, at least.

Despite his better judgment, he allowed Jim to blindfold him and lead him into a car. Wherever they got out again, no one seemed inclined to break the silence. He was led around for a little bit in what was likely an attempt to make him lose his focus, though it didn't quite work. The handcuffs being snapped around his wrists did make him panic, though, suddenly sure that he’d fucked up somehow and was going to be fired, in only the way that Jim fired his employees. He didn't fight, being as stupidly loyal as he was.

The lack of fighting seemed to be the right option when a few minutes later he was pushed down onto a soft surface, even if he was a bit roughly pinned down. With a flourish before he could even register what he was laying on the blindfold was removed, revealing a smirking Irene Adler right above him. He was startled at first; just about ready to surge up since he was sure that this was all some trick to get more money out of them.

“Easy, tiger.” And with Jim’s words coming from right beside his head there was no way he could not follow orders. He turned his head, looking towards the man for an explanation. Irene was the one to deliver it instead.

“James here has asked for some help on exactly how to tame his dear pet,” she explained, caressing his cheek to bring his attention back to her. “I’m just here to show him how to properly restrain a tiger, and offer some tips that your siblings might have shown. You Morans are all rather similar, I've found.” He scowled at her smirk, and Jim just laughed at the two of them.

“You know I’m not fond of sharing, Irene, so I’d suggest you get to work instead of reminding him of all the times his siblings have been on this very bed,” Jim stated, raising an eyebrow at her. The comment earned a disgusted groan from Sebastian, making them both laugh. He hadn't needed that image.

Irene was never one to disappoint, of course, and there was no greater danger than disappointing James Moriarty. Before grabbing any of the restraints, though, she grabbed a pen and rolled back one of Sebastian’s sleeves before quickly writing out a string of numbers.

“I wasn't aware you liked to number your clients before tying them up,” Sebastian retorted, earning a roll of her eyes. “I’d like to see how you plan on restraining me, and I’m woefully free at the moment.”

“That’s my private number. Give it to your sister when you see her again, I’d hate to see such a wonderful woman pine any longer,” she explained, winding one of her restraints in her hands. It took a moment for the reply to click in Sebastian’s mind, and when it did a triumphant smirk stretched across his face. Not even The Woman could resist the Moran charm.

Everything went fantastically from there, with Sebastian being perfectly tied down in a way that Jim could recreate at home, Jim looking amazing as always as he fucked his sniper, and Irene pointing out common kinks between all the Morans to see if the patterns would hold through. They did, of course, and once Jim had made him scream loud enough to make his voice hoarse, Sebastian couldn't quite remember just why he had hated Irene so much before.

**Author's Note:**

> Written thanks to a small discussion of headcanons with a friend. I don't even know.


End file.
